I don’t want to beat around the bush any more with meaningless pre-amble. It’s time that we dive straight in and start developing you, dear reader.
Reading motivational articles on how to achieve your goals, feel more confident and generally become the best version of yourself can be a good way to fuel yourself with inspiration and find areas to improve in your life.
But just reading self-help isn’t going to do anything. If you really want to start improving your life then you have to take action and you have to execute on all those ideas and tips.
The problem is that that there is so much information out there and so many different tips out there that it can be hard to know where to start. And none of this information is organized or useful – it’s all just kind of there and we’re expected to pick and choose the parts to apply to us.
In this chapter and the next couple, I’m going to take some of the best advice that can help to make you happier, more confident and more attractive and I’m going to put it into a kind of program in much the same way that you might make a training program.
This is going to be mostly superficial stuff for now: I’m going to focus on making you better looking, more energetic and less stressed. We’re starting with this stuff because it is an easy win and it will make you feel like a million bucks. And once we’ve done that, then we can look at going a little deeper…
Take a Day to Yourself and Do This
Okay, so we’re going to start by taking a single day out of your routine and doing a kind of ‘spring clean’ for your soul.
You take days off of work for all sorts of less important reasons, so book off some time and make this a day that is just about you. Now what you’re going to do is to use this day purely to focus on making the changes that can help you to become a better version of yourself. So that you have more energy, more space, and less stress. So that you can stand tall.
Here’s what you’re going to spend the day doing:
Tidy the House and Create Systems
The tidiness of your home is very much an outward reflection on the state of your mind (in fact, houses represent the mind when we’re dreaming!). If you are stressed, then chances are that your house will be a mess. Likewise, if your house is a mess, chances are that you will be stressed!
So, you’re going to stop and tidy the house up and then you’re going to look at some systems that you can implement to keep it that way.
This might mean that you invest in some machinery that can take care of cleaning and tidying for you. A dishwasher, robotic vacuum cleaner, etc. can all save you time. At the same time, you’re also going to look at ways you can organize your kitchen or your home office so that it will be easier to take care of everything.
That might mean using a filing cabinet for example. Get rid of the things you don’t need and aim for a more minimal layout and aesthetic. If you can do this effectively, you’ll find that you spend a lot less time cleaning and tidying and a lot more time actually doing things you want to do. At the same time, living in an environment that is clean and attractive will make you feel less stressed, more at ease and more accomplished.
Fix Your Look
This is also a good time to fix your look: that means getting a haircut (have you ever noticed what a great mood you always get put in after a haircut?) and it means investing in a new wardrobe.
That last point is important: dressing right can make a huge difference to how you feel about yourself and thus the image you project and the way that others respond to you.
The first thing to recognize when doing this is that it does make a big difference to wear nice clothes. That means you should be wearing clothes that are high quality and from shops that generally charge a little more. The difference here is in the fabrics that are used and the way that these can unconsciously make you look a little better and a little more accomplished.
If you don’t have lots of money to spend, then focus on quality over quantity. Buy when clothes are in the sales and choose outfits that will allow you to re-used specific items in creative ways. Look for those all-important staples like your shoes, a good hoodie, the right white t-shirt, etc. And where possible, always buy clothes that fit well.
One more tip is to try buying clothes you normally wouldn’t. If you struggle with this, then perhaps ask someone else to pick something for you. Try being a bit more adventurous generally too and wearing things/dressing in a way that will make you stand out. Dressing well is one thing, but daring to dress differently will make others change the way they think about you and make you look confident in your style and your appearance.
Imagine a girl who always comes into the office wearing frumpy clothes that cover up her physique. They’re perfectly stylish and well made but they’re clearly designed to help her hide away from the world. She likes a guy in the office and is always chatting to him, but she has crossed into the ‘friend zone’ and he just doesn’t see her that way.
Then one day, she comes in wearing firebox red lipstick with cropped hair and a form-fitting dress. This instantly changes the way that everyone in the office looks at her. It makes her appear 10x more confident and the change is as attractive as the look itself. It shifts perceptions and it communicates confidence and growth.
Women: learn from this. Men: think about how you can accomplish the same thing by going outside of your comfort zone and owning your look. Don’t sheepishly wear the same outfits every day: dare to be different.